AU
Back to
Better Sex
Back

We all need a little help sometimes.

If you’re not someone who regularly uses a vibrator, or even someone who regularly masturbates, you might feel like you’re missing out. Television, magazines, and social media give us the impression that everyone is out there having skilful self-love sessions—but the reality is that heaps of us are just starting to figure out how we like to pleasure ourselves.

Many of us needed (and still need) time, experimentation, and even a bit of trial-and-error before we learned how to masturbate using our hands. And it makes sense that vibrators can take a bit of practise to use, as well.

So, this article is for anyone who’s never used a vibrator, but is keen to try. Anyone who has used one but feels like they’ve fallen into a bit of a sexual rut and would like to mix things up a bit. And anyone who has used a vibrator once or twice but found the experience confusing, overwhelming, or just couldn’t get the hang of it.

And if you get to the end of this article and realise vibrators still aren’t your thing, that’s cool too. Vibrators aren’t a necessary prerequisite to sexual pleasure. But they can be a lot of fun.

Let's get started...

The first thing you should know is that there are many kinds of vibrators, and each one focuses on a different area—or areas—of the body. Let's go over them quickly here:

There’s no right or wrong answer as to which vibrator you should purchase or use first. You can make your own choice depending on how you like to be touched, how you like to touch yourself, or simply what you think might be nice. If you really enjoy clitoral stimulation but aren’t so keen on penetration, a clitoral vibrator may be a good choice—let yourself be guided by what you enjoy, rather than what you think you ‘should’ choose.

No matter which kind you choose, there are a few things to keep in mind before and after purchasing:

Once you’ve bought your vibrator, given it a clean, and worked out how to store it, it might feel like the obvious next step is to just turn it on and see what happens. And you can do that, but you can also follow our tips if you’re not quite ready to jump into the deep end yet.

Get to know the vibrator’s functions

Have a read of the instructions that come with your vibrator and get familiar with everything it can do. Some vibrators have different speeds, intensities, and functions—some pulse, some thrust, some can even respond to our heartbeat or the music we’re listening to! Try out all of the functionalities that appeal to you, and see what you enjoy.

Use lube

We’re big fans of lube for solo and partnered sex. It can make penetration easier, prevent the vibrator from pulling on our delicate skin, and it can even just feel really nice to apply! There are many types of lube out there, and we’ve written an explainer on what they are, what they contain, and how to use them. As a general note, silicone lube can’t be used with silicone devices—as many vibrators these days are made of silicone, we recommend water-based.

Try leaving your clothes on

If you’re someone who’s previously found vibrators too intense, it might help to leave your underwear or clothes on—at least in the beginning. Putting a barrier between our sensitive genitals and a device can reduce the strength of the vibrations and allow us to ease ourselves into the experience.

Don’t just focus on your genitals

The body has heaps of erogenous zones that extend well beyond what’s between our legs. To get yourself in the mood, you might try using the vibrator on your neck, nipples, stomach, thighs, wrists, or butt cheeks—or any other hidden sensitive spots you may have.

Explore yourself

Some vibrators are made to be used in very precise ways, like the clitoral sucker and the prostate vibrator. They work really well when they’re placed directly over the clitoris or directly on the prostate, so if you try to use them anywhere else it can be a bit hit-or-miss. Other vibrators allow you to get a bit more creative with where you put them: a bullet vibrator, for example, can be used directly on the clitoris but it can also be used to trace around it, up and down the labia, between the butt cheeks, and on the perineum. A vaginal vibrator can be used for penetration but it can also be used on the clitoris and can be traced around the vulva and butt as well. Some people respond well to direct stimulation of their erogenous zones, and others don't—find what works for you with a bit of creative experimentation.

Once you’ve explored the basics and feel comfortable with your new vibrator, you can work up to some more advanced techniques. If you’re playing solo, you might like to explore other kinds of devices, using two devices at once, or even edging—getting yourself to the point of orgasm and then backing off. If you have a partner, you could invite them to enjoy your new vibrator with you, or you could even shop for a device together.

The sky is really the limit when it comes to how you can enjoy a vibrator. Remember, there are no rules about what should feel good or how you should use each device—you’re bound only by your imagination and what feels good. Enjoy!